SV: 7-18 "Apocalypse" Review

Meh. Another filler episode. Clark finds out what would happen if he’d never been sent to Smallville when Krypton exploded. Nothing really changed except the PTB might have inadvertently changed Clark’s memories of his mother in "Memoria".

Lex was great. Now that’s Lex Luthor. Clark is still obsessing over Lana... although he refuses to tell Lex about Brainiac when Lex offers to help Lana if only Clark would tell him what happened to her. I don’t understand why Clark would keep that to himself. Lex has met Brainiac. I guess Lex could put 2 and 2 together if he found out Brainiac is after Lana. I mean, why Lana? Because of Clark – the Traveler. Unless Lana's the Traveler! Clark in effect chose his secret over helping Lana (unless he didn’t believe Lex could help).

This is interesting. If Clark had never come to Smallville, Lois would not only be a reporter (How? No Barn Door of Inspiration), she’d have a brain and a Pulitzer. It makes no sense and it’s giving me a headache. This observation is from TWoP: Is AU Lois Lane destined to be with blond teenage Clark Kent, son of AU Martha and Jonathan Kent? They grow them young in Kansas!

Warning: Watch out for the anvils!


Kent Loft: Clark sits staring at Swann’s journal with a picture of Lana nearby. *sigh* Even when Lana is not in the episode, our protagonist has to obsess over her. Chloe comes up the stairs. She says she must have tripped every speed trap in Smallville getting there. She wants to know what happened. Clark replies that he got another SOS from Kara. It says "Krypton will be destroyed any minute. Brainiac is getting closer. Please hurry. Your life depends upon it." Chloe says that Brainiac used Kara to time jump back to the day Krypton exploded. All Brainiac has to do is stop the ship that carried Clark from Krypton. "And you’d be standing alone in an empty barn", finishes Clark. Chloe thinks that if Brainiac and Kara made the quantum leap (hee!), he should be able to also. Clark admits that Kara mentioned that the Fortress has the power to send him back. If he takes the octagonal disk to the Fortress, Jor-El can make it happen. Chloe grabs the book with the key. She asks what Clark is still doing here. Clark replies that he’s not going. Chloe reminds him that he has to stop Brainiac or he’ll fade away. Clark says that he understands that. Chloe says that she understands his hesitancy. The last time he meddled with the past it cost Jonathan his life. She says that he doesn’t have a choice. Clark replies that he does have a choice and he’s making it now. Ever since he arrived he’s brought death and destruction, meteor freaks, phantoms, Brainiac. Chloe plays cheerleader again. She tells Clark that he’s done plenty of good and he can’t blame himself for all the bad in the world. Can I say how tired I am of a whiny, self-pitying, lanafied Clark Kent? I’m also tired of Chloe cheering the stupid, obsessed, oblivious intergalactic traveler on. After two duds in a row, I think I’m tired of Smallville.


Clark replies that it’s not blame. He’s taking responsibility for all the lives he’s ruined... including Lana’s. Don’t you mean especially Lana’s, Clark? Be honest. Chloe is slowly losing it. She says that it’s not time to be stubborn. They need him, she needs him. Clark insists that she’ll be fine. Once he’s gone, she’ll have no idea that he was here. Chloe angrily says that she’s not letting him off that easy. She puts the key in his hand and insists that he’s going back to Krypton now before it’s too late. Clark says that the planet will be better off if he never existed. Suddenly, a light comes from the key. It envelops Clark as Chloe looks on.


Kent Barn: Clark is lying on the floor. He gets up and calls for Chloe. It’s kind of cool. The barn slowly lights up as he turns around. I love when Tom Welling directs. A young blond guy wearing a Crows jacket comes in the barn. He wants to know what the hell Clark is doing on their property. Did Clark ever use the H. word? Clark asks who he is. The guy replies that he lives here and he’s Clark Kent. Duh, duh, duh.


Clark runs to the house. He picks up a picture of "Clark", Martha, and Jonathan. Hee. It looks like a pic of TW!Clark, Martha and Jon with TW’s face Photoshopped out. "Clark" comes in after Clark. He asks what Clark is doing. Clark says that he’s not in this picture. He figures out that "Clark Kent" is their son. "Clark" says that Clark’s lucky that his dad didn’t find him in the barn or he’d be pulling out his twelve-gauge. Clark looks hopeful. He realizes that Jon is still alive. Clark starts yelling for his dad. "Clark" is confused by Clark’s outburst. He says that no one is home. He threatens to call the sheriff. Clark realizes that he never made it to Earth; he never got on the ship and shouldn’t be here but somehow he is. At hearing about a ship, "Clark" tells Clark to relax; he’ll get him some help. Clark says that he wants to talk to Jon and Martha. "Clark" replies that they are on a cruise celebrating Jon’s birthday. Clark returns to his obsession. He asks if Lana Lang is okay. "Clark" replies that he doesn’t know a Lana. You don’t know how lucky you are, "Clark". He offers to call the sheriff. Clark says that he just wants to know if his friends are okay. He needs a phonebook.



Clark is crossing a street looking down at a paper. When he looks up he spots Chloe. The guy she’s walking with says that he’ll be right back and walks away. Clark walks up to Chloe. He says her name, Smallville High, class of ’05. Chloe doesn’t recognize him. Clark tells her his name. He says that they went to high school together. When Chloe still looks confused, Clark adds that he was a bit of an outsider. He says that he’s trying to find a mutual friend, Lana Lang. Chloe says that they didn’t hang together and she lost track of her on graduation. Clark asks if she was a reporter at the Torch. He suggests she uses her investigative magic to help track Lana down. Chloe says that she’d love to help but they have to be somewhere. Clark asks if "they" is her and her boyfriend. The hottie in question comes up behind Chloe and says that he’s her fiancé. Hottie is a police officer for the MPD. Cool. He wears a Superman crest on his t-shirt (check the pic!). Clark notices the engagement ring and looks pleased (maybe a little wistful?). Hottie says that the wedding is on Sunday. Clark congratulates Chloe. Hottie says that Chloe’s dad is waiting at the tuxedo shop. Chloe hopes Clark finds Lana (and I hope he doesn’t). Clark says he’s really happy for her.


Daily Planet: Jimmy is focusing his camera on a busy Lois (a busy Lois?! I never thought I’d put those two words together in a sentence!) when Clark gets in his line of vision. Jimmy lowers his camera. Clark compliments Jimmy’s bowtie. Jimmy says that it’s a present from an old girlfriend. She took his heart but left him with a sense of style. Clark asks if he’s Jimmy Olsen. When Jimmy says yes, Clark says that every time he sees a picture he likes in the paper, Jimmy’s name is on it. Laying it kind of thick, aren’t you Clark? Jimmy is surprised. He wishes Clark was his editor because his editor says he’s got focus issues. Jimmy asks if Clark works there. Clark says no and he’s lost track of an ex-girlfriend (I wish). He wants to use the DP archives to find her. Jimmy offers to help Clark. Jimmy finds out that after high school, Lana studied art history; she met and married Pierre Rousseau; they married and they have two kids. Clark looks pleased.

As he’s about to go, he walks into Lois. Lois is impressed. Jimmy asks if Lois needs a photographer. Lois answers that she needs Jimmy to make another delivery (why doesn't she make her own deliveries?). She introduces herself to Clark. She asks if he always bowls women over the first time he meets them. Jimmy tells Lois not to be too hard on Clark. He just found out his girlfriend is with a French philanthropist. Clark starts to say that it’s not that bad when Lois interrupts. She says that she knows all about unrequited love (isn't that Chloe's gig?). She says she’s had more heroes exit stage left than a Greek tragedy. Lois adds that talking about things usually helps and offers to meet Clark at O’Malley’s. Wow. That’s Lois Lane?! She’s easy.

Some men come up behind Lois. They ask if her name is Lois Lane. Lois replies that that’s what it says on her Pulitzer. Kara walks up to Lois. She says that Lois is in possession of property belonging to the US government and arrests Lois. Clark asks what Kara is doing. Kara tells him that it’s official government business and to stay out of it. Clark wants to know what’s going on. Jimmy explains that that was Linda Danvers, head of the DDS (Department of Domestic Security). She was appointed the month before. Clark asks who appointed her. Jimmy says the only person who can. He picks up a copy of the Daily Planet showing picture of Lex on the the cover. Jimmy says the President of the United States.

Clark can’t believe that Lex Luthor was elected president. Tom pronounces Luthor as Luther. It bugs me. Jimmy says that ever since he branded out the meteor freaks he’s been a national hero. Clark asks if there was a meteor shower. Jimmy replies that it made the headlines and Luthor saved the day. Clark wants to know if Lois’ arrest has anything to do with Lex. Jimmy snarks that Clark is on a first name basis with the president. Clark replies that Lois is his friend and he wants to help. Jimmy reminds him that he and Lois just met. Yeah, Clark, keep your head in the game. Clark says that there must be some way to help her. Jimmy replies that he’s trying to keep his butt out of an orange jumpsuit (eh, like he did in "Sleeper"). Jimmy is about to shred the envelope Lois gave him when Clark snatches it away from him. Clark reads it and asks what it means. Jimmy replies that he’s just the messenger. Clark wants to know where Jimmy was taking it. Jimmy asks why he should tell Clark. Clark picks him up and slams him against the shelves. Jimmy says the Ace of Clubs; look for the suit at the end of the bar.


Ace of Spades Club: Clark looks around and spots Sheriff Adams in a suit at the bar. Clark asks her if she’s Sheriff Adams. Adams replies that it’s a long time since anyone’s called her that. She asks if she knows Clark. He answers that he grew up in Smallville. Adams asks what Clark’s business is here. Clark puts down the envelope and says he’s making a delivery. Adams is upset that the envelope’s been opened. Clark threatens to out Adams to the government if she doesn’t tell him what’s going on. Adams reveals that she is the government. She suggests that Clark go back to Smallville before she arrests him. Clark counters "like you did to Lois Lane?". Adams is surprised that Lane was arrested. Clark says that the DDS picked her up that morning for being in possession of something that belonged to the government. Adams looks uncomfortable. Clark catches on. He realizes that Adams is Lois’ informant. Adams threatens Clark. He says he just wants to help and asks where the DDS took Lois. Adams tells him to give up and turns around only to see Clark in front of her again. He says that he doesn’t give up and demands that Adams tell him when Lois is.

Two official looking vehicles stop at a building. Kara comes out and tells the others to bring Lois in and not to let anyone talk to her until she (Kara) returns. As Lois is being led out, a blur hits one of the agents, then the other. Lois starts to run but the blur picks her up. It’s Clark. Lois looks smitten. She says talk about sweeping a girl off her feet. Clark smiles. I don't get this scene. Why did Clark pick Lois up? From the promo pics, I thought Lois was hurt or something. Instead he just randomly picks her up. Strange.


Olsen’s Loft: Clark wonders why Lois is public enemy number 1. Lois replies that she’s not. She has a classified document that proves that Luthor is putting the country in jeopardy. She shows Clark a video of Lex telling the nation that satellite images revealed that their enemies have deployed nuclear missiles within striking distance of the country. Lex says that the threat will not be tolerated and leaves them no choice but to respond with force. Lois stops the video. She says that she’s got proof that there is no threat. She says that when she was with the DDS guys, they mentioned that they were "moving the Eagle to the mountaintop". Clark thinks it’s some kind of code. Lois says that it means that they are moving Luthor to the Norad bunker in anticipation of a nuclear war. Lois says that since it’s a fake threat, Lex wants to give the enemy a sucker punch with a preemptive nuclear strike. She adds that she has to post the truth on the Planet’s front page before Luthor presses the button.

They wonder why Luthor is gung-ho to annihilate the Earth. The video behind Lois shows an image of Milton Fine, the Chief of Staff. Clark thinks that it’s because of Fine. Clark wonders how Fine managed to get to Earth. Lois is confused. Clark says that Milton Fine doesn’t care what happens to the planet because he’s not human; he’s a machine. Clark says if he’d been here to take him on, none of this would have happened. Clark says that he thought everyone would be better off without him, but it’s worse than he ever imagined. Okay, now that you’ve learned your lesson, can we go back to reality? I guess not.


Lois is still confused. She guesses that Clark is an android. Clark says that he’s the one person who can defeat Fine. Lois says that Luthor is holding a press conference in Smallville and the only way to stop his plan is to get to the briefcase with the nuclear attack codes. Clark says that he’ll get past security. Lois tells him that even if he gets in he’ll still stick out like a red and blue thumb. Lois opens Olsen’s roommate’s closet. She says that he’s about the right size. She hands Clark a suit and tie and tells him to strip. At Clark’s uncomfortable look, she leaves and closes the door. She starts to peek when the door opens and Clark’s all dressed up. She gives Clark her press badge and tells him to say it’s a typo – his name is Louis. Lois eyes Clark for a bit. She says something is missing. I realize that this scene was shot because of the anvils but really, Clark could have snuck in wearing his red jacket seeing as he doesn't bother with the reporter pretence when he interacts with Lex and co. Oh, well. We must have our anvils.


Clark walks in with other journalists. He’s wearing the Clark Kent signature glasses that he quickly ditches. He listens into a conversation between Lex and Kara. Lex is surprised that with Kara’s abilities, Lane was able to escape. He accuses Kara of turning on him. Kara says that he’s like a brother to her and she’ll always be loyal to him. Lex counters that letting his enemy escape is an odd way of showing it. Kara says that Lex’s enemy is Milton Fine. Lex doesn’t believe her. He says they are so close and she betrays him the very moment he needs her the most. Kara says that she’s already seen one planet destroyed and she’s not going to let it happen again. She hands Lex a document found in Lois’ office. It’s a document signed by Fine authorizing false reports. She says there are no missiles threatening them. Kara says that she’d never doubt Lex, just Fine.


Lex takes the document and sets it on fire. Kara is confused. She asks what Lex is doing. Lex explains that Fine was following his orders. He is disappointed that Kara is questioning his judgment. Lex says that since Lionel found Kara’s ship at Reeves Dam, he raised her as his daughter and protected her secret. Kara starts to say something but Lex interrupts. He reminds her that she is an alien and he is the President of the USA and by striking the enemy first, he is ensuring their survival. Kara looks down. Lex says that they will prevail. He yells at Kara to look at him. He adds that he expects Kara to stand by his side. Kara agrees.

Fine comes in. He tells Lex that the press has arrived. Lex tells Kara that great leaders are defined by the difficult decisions they make. Lex goes to greet the press with Fine. Kara walks out another door. She sees Clark. She warns him that it’s a restricted area and reporters are not allowed here. Clark calls her Kara. Kara is surprised. She asks how he knows that name. Clark says that he’s from Krypton, he’s her cousin Kal-El. Kara says that she was sent to kill him and takes a swing at him. Clark easily dodges her. She says that she searched the globe but couldn’t find him. She asks how he can be here now. Clark replies that he never existed in this world, but somehow he’s here. He says that he can’t explain what happened but they need to get the briefcase with the nuclear codes away from Lex. Kara says that she trusts Lex. Clark replies that Milton Fine is Brainiac. He says that together they can stop Brainiac once and for all. They both look determined.

Lex is in his office spinning the globe on his desk. Kara and Clark come in. Lex wants to know who is with Kara. Kara says that he’s from Krypton. Clark tries to convince Lex that everything he’s done is because of Fine. Fine is manipulating him with the goal of getting access to the country’s nuclear arsenal. Lex walks around to a statue. He says that sometimes things go so horribly wrong that the only way to fix them is to start over. Clark insists that Fine’s goal is to destroy mankind. Lex replies not everyone. America’s best and brightest are safe. They’ve been shuttled to bunkers. Clark says that it doesn’t make sense. They’ll be nothing for them to come back to. Lex says when the dust settles they will rebuild and he’ll lead the survivors to a new world. He turns around and shoots Clark. Clark just stands there. He puts his hand to the wound on his stomach and looks at the blood. Lex shoots him again in the shoulder. Clark falls to the floor.

Kara goes to Clark. She demands to know what Lex is doing. Lex replies that he thought one day he’d have to protect himself from her (Kara). He shoots her in the shoulder – and she just stands there and takes it. Oh brother. Kara basically has lost her memory, been abducted, and been shot. She’s like Lois – useless to the plot. Fine and two goons come in. Fine gives one of the goons some Kryptonite laced handcuffs and orders them to take Miss Danvers to the chopper and get her medical attention. The goons drag a handcuffed Kara way.


Fine brings Lex the briefcase. Clark yells for Lex not to do this. Fine tells Lex that the future is his. Lex puts his thumb on a scan. He picks up the phone and says "on my mark". He gives the code. Clark yells that this is insane. Lex gives the order to initiate launch. Fine says that the team will assemble at the Norad bunker; he will deal with the intruder. Why? Just leave him there. He’ll be annihilated. Fine says that security will meet Lex and take him to Air Force One.

Missiles are launched. Fine tells Clark that he will not keep him from the mission he was programmed for. Clark guesses that Zod is around. Fine says that he’s trapped in the Phantom Zone. With the humans gone, he’ll use Kara to release him through her Fortress and use Lex as the vessel for Zod. Together they will repopulate the planet and Krypton will rise again. Yes, yes, but what about Lana?!! Fine points the gun at Clark. He tells Clark that he can’t change the course of history and shoots Clark.

Clark finds himself at the Fortress. Jor-El says that he’s disappointed in him. No kidding. Jor-El says that Clark can’t question his destiny on this planet. Jor-El adds that the disk in his (Clark’s) hand revealed his misguided intentions. He was forced to show Clark the error of his ways. Clark asks to be sent back. Jor-El warns him to stop the Brain Interactive Construct. He says that Clark can’t fail; there will be no second chances.


Clark is back in the loft with Chloe. Chloe wonders what happened. She hugs him. She says that she thought he was gone forever. Clark says that there’s still time; he has to make it right; he has to go to Krypton.


Krypton (same special effects as in "Lara"): Brainiac puts baby!Kal-El on an illuminated table. He’s such a cutie!! He starts to cry. Aww. Brainiac takes a spike and is about to skewer baby!Kal-El. He tells baby!Kal-El that not every boy grows up to be a hero. Kara stops him. He hits her. She goes flying holding the spike. Brainiac says that Kal-El will die on Krypton and so will Kara. Clark says that he won’t let that happen. Clark says that Brainiac is going to release Lana. Yes. Because it’s All. About. Lana. Kara distracts Clark and Brainiac gains the upper hand. He grabs Clark by the throat. Brainiac reminds Clark that there’s no yellow sun to charge him. Brainiac throws Clark. He holds up a spiked finger and says that Clark’s not in Kansas anymore. Hee. Suddenly the spike Kara was holding pierces Brainiac’s chest. Brainiac falls to the floor. Kara yells for Clark to put the baby (himself) on the ship and she’ll take care of Brainiac.

Clark v e r y s l o w l y puts baby!Kal-El in the ship. Kara takes a large piece of rock and throws it on Brainiac as he laughs. Clark and Kara stand around as Krypton crumbles around them. This scene is endless. Superman music plays as Krypton explodes and baby Kal-El’s ship escapes. That part was cool.

Kent Farm: Kara comes down the stairs as Clark hangs up the phone. He says that the nurse told him that Lana is worse than ever. Kara is sure that she destroyed Brainiac. Clark says that he thought that if Brainiac died, his grip over Lana would be broken. He was wrong. Kara suggests they reopen the portal to Krypton. Clark replies that there’s no going back. Kara replies that if they go back they could save their home. Kara says that if they find the right point in time, they can fix everything. Clark asks how they’ll know that they won’t make it worse. Good point, Clark. Clark says that they can’t change the past only affect the future. Kara says that whatever the future, she’ll always be there for Clark. Weird.



Clark comes up the stairs to his loft. Lex is there waiting for him. Yay! Another loft scene I like. Lex says the place hasn’t changed since he last saw it. Clark asks what Lex is doing here. Lex throws a football to Clark and Clark catches it. Lex says that Clark was the last person to see Lana well. Oh. I was premature with my yay. This conversation is going to be All. About. Lana. Lex says that Clark’s the one to talk to if Lex has any chance of helping her. Clark throws the football on the ground. He says that no one is asking for Lex’s help. Lex says that he had the best medical minds examine her. Clark meekly asks if there is anything the doctors can do to help her. Lex replies that the doctors said that it’s like nothing they’ve come across; almost alien. The doctors have come to the conclusion that Lana’s state is irreversible. Riiight. Lex says that if they could figure out what triggered Lana’s syndrome they could have hope. Lex asks if there is anything that might explain how this could have happened. Clark lies no. Lex says that if Clark remembers anything, he knows where to find him (Lex).

Daily Planet: Clark sits at Lois’ desk. Lois says that it’s a new side to Clark Kent; mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper. Clark says that he’s not after her job, he’s just borrowing the Planet’s database. Lois asks what Clark’s looking up. Of course, it’s about Lana because it’s All. About. Lana. Clark has an article about comas on the screen. Clark says that he’s sure there’s someone out there that can help Lana. Lois replies that with all her years of watching Dr. Phil, she’d know what to say but she’s drawing a blank. She doesn’t do well with sad. Clark tells her not to beat herself up over it. Lois says that Clark was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. She adds that she wishes she could make everything alright. Clark says that she’s a good friend. Doesn't take much, eh, Clark? Lois suggests that they go drown their sorrows. Yeah, booze. Lois says that Clark’s legal now. Clark replies that he’s not into the nightlife scene. Lois says that she’ll take that as a challenge.

Kent Kitchen: Kara walks to the fridge and takes out the milk bottle. She’s about to drink (from the bottle!) when she feels pain in her head. The bottle falls to the floor. Kara drops to the floor from the pain.