The Art of Writing for Smallville (Part 3)

This is the third part of The Art of Writing for Smallville. Click here to read part 1 and click on Next at the bottom of each page for the next part.

The Lois Lane Corner

In s4, Lois Lane shows up in SV to look for answers regarding Chloe’s death. She weasels her way into the Kent home and lives with them for almost a year. During that time, she shows no interest in doing anything – she’s a rebel (without a life). The one time Lois is shown preparing breakfast, it’s because she needs a favor.

Although she’s a guest in his home, she rags on Clark constantly. Clark, for his part, looks really annoyed when dealing with Lois (and I don't blame him). When Lois finds out she failed to graduate high school, she attends Smallville high to make up the credits. She gets a break when Lex pulls strings to get her into Met U (as a favor to Clark) without having to earn the necessary credits. Once at Met U, she gets into trouble enough times that she is kicked out.

Martha offers her a job at the Talon. While working there, Lois baits Lex in his own establishment during a photo-shoot for his senatorial campaign. He calmly (as only a Luthor can) calls Lois a “muffin peddling college dropout” (one of my favorite lines). Lois, angry, runs to Chloe get dirt on Lex. When Chloe explains that finding dirt on the Luthors is next to impossible, Lois gives up.

During Jonathan’s senatorial campaign, Lois mouths off at Jonathan’s campaign manager when he and Jon have a disagreement about Jon’s public image. Jonathan wants to maintain the image of a salt-of-the-earth farmer. Jonathan promptly fires his campaign manager and hires Lois. She’s just lucky like that. During her time as campaign manager, Lois uses Lionel Luthor’s campaign contributions (technically Martha accepted, but Lois, as CM, was ultimately responsible) to continue Jonathan’s campaign. Considering the Kents’ history with Lionel and Jonathan’s election platform, Jonathan was understandably angry. To her credit, Lois apologizes but Jonathan is forced to sell the back 40 to return the money to Lionel.

After Jonathan’s death, Martha is sworn in as Senator. She makes Lois her Chief of Staff. Lois blunders her way along. On one occasion Martha finds Lois playing video games instead of working. On another, Lois dismisses a powerful backer mistaking him for a delivery boy. On yet another occasion Lois puts her foot in her mouth when talking to a Senator at a party.

For two years, Lois Lane languishes in SV. She has no interest in journalism, is kicked out of college; is handed jobs that she didn’t earn (or want) and certainly didn't have the necessary credentials for. She blissfully ignores all the strange happenings around her in Smallville even when they directly affect her.

Rumors abounded. Is this really iconic Lois Lane?

Then, in s6, the writers decide it was time for Lois Lane to get into journalism. After two years of pretty much ignoring the weird in Smallville, Lois Lane gets the journalism bug when a barn door falls near her while she was out jogging. Huh?? When the more respectable papers reject her article, Lois settles for the Inquisitor (a rag paper that prints anything as long as it sells papers). Lois disses the DP calling it a “pseudo-intellectual rag”. That’s iconic Lois Lane?! Lois is content to add spins to her articles (read: lie) as long as her articles are on the front page – so much for journalistic integrity.

Lois works at the Inquisitor less than a year (and once is threatened with “downsizing” if she can’t produce an article) when she is offered a job at the Daily Planet. She never expresses a desire to work at the DP (remember “pseudo-intellectual rag”?). In fact, she’s quite happy at the Inquisitor. She never fills out an application or goes for an interview or shows her credentials. She’s at the Planet talking to Chloe and just like that she gets a job offer. It’s a good thing Grant, the DP editor who hired Lois, reads Superman comics and knows that “Lois Lane” is destined to be a big shot reporter. Yeah, I’m being sarcastic.

Al, Miles, SV writers: a series of light-switches and a bunch of anvils does not a journey make. Unless, of course, it leads to Chlois and then it makes perfect sense.

The Jason Teague Corner

In s4, Jason Teague (played beautifully by Jensen Ackles) followed Lana to Smallville from Paris. He was a sweet, kind, attentive boyfriend (that Lana could throw in Clark’s face) who loved Lana dearly.

But in the long term that created a problem for the writers. If Lana is happy with Jason, why would Clark and Lana interact? They were never really friends; they hardly know each other; and they really have no reason to interact.

This was very easily remedied. The writers used the power of the retcon to transform Jason from loving boyfriend into an evil, abusive, conniving, murdering guy who used Lana to get one of the magical stones of contrive… er… knowledge.

That paved the way for yet another go-around on the Clana Rollercoaster of Angst. The search for the stones was promptly forgotten by all the characters at the end of the season.

Well at least we got the Fortress of Solitude out of it.

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